Addicted to Emotion
by aquayzar777
Summary: I can't take it... I have to let her out. I was always forced to hide my emotions, but I can't hold it back anymore. I have to let it go. (Character death, slightly AU. Small CyJinx and RobStar)(Updates usually every Tuesday)
1. Chapter 1

Addicted to Emotion Ch 1

Following the events of The Brotherhood of Evil, me and my friends returned to Jump City, somewhat changed. Although we weren't the only ones who changed; all of the citizens in this large city seemed to think progress was more important than personal treasures.

Cyborg and Beast Boy missed the arcade that was now replaced by steel girders and construction workers.

Starfire longed to drink her favorite mustard from Larry's Drug Store that was now a supermarket; and wouldn't you believe it? They didn't sell her favorite brand.

All I missed was a simple bookstore.

Robin didn't seem like he missed much. You could feel his eyes slightly widen at the sight of the changed metropolis, but he seemed unaffected, nonetheless.

That's one thing I liked about Robin, he was so unmovable when it came to material things of his own possession. All that mattered was other people's safety and well being. He was purely a hero.

Until he came back into the picture.

Cold laughter echoed throughout the tower as a charcoal colored figure with an orange and black mask crept into the TV room. Behind him was at least thirty of his robotic soldiers with laser guns, poised to shoot.

Robin's breath caught in his throat. With us traveling around the world the past few months, he'd completely forgotten that my father had brought him back from the dead. He gritted his teeth as he hissed out his name.

"Slade."

Slade must have had a lot of time to tinker with his robotic whatever-you-call-it's, cause it almost seemed like we plain surrendered after he came into the room. Now we were held in his old lair hung by platinum chains. Me and Starfire were equipped with pulse-negating headbands, slowing our pulses, thus, putting our powers on hold. Cyborg's robotic body was deactivated up to his head so he was standing next to us, still as a statue. Beast Boy, ironically, was kept in a suspended cage like... Well, an animal.

Slade was about twenty feet in front of me working with chemicals and syringes. I saw four flasks each labeled similarly. Ro01, Cy02, BB03, and St04 were printed on them. He placed one more flask next to them that read Ra05, and I was hit with a sudden realization.

He's really gonna kill us.

Before, he just hated us, tried to hurt us, confuse us, even drive us to insanity. But he's never tried to actually kill us! I was snapped away from my thoughts when Robin finally woke up.

"Slade. What are you planning, this time?" He growled.

Slade simply ignored him, and lifted a test tube and it's contents in front of his face, swirling it around, as if to determine what the substance was.

"Dude, this is so not cool!" Beast Boy spat. "I'm in a stinkin' cage!"

"At least you can move!" Cyborg said. He struggled to make his arms move, or even twitch.

"I feel as if my body has forgotten what strength it had before..."

Starfire was right, with this makeshift inhibitor on my head, I felt weak: like my body would give out any second. I remained silent, trying to think of a plan to get us all out of here.

'I'll get you out...' Said a familiar voice in my labyrinth I call my mind.

'No. You're not coming out, Rage.' I mentally screamed.

She giggled maniacally. 'But Raven, we used to have so much fun together!'

'You mean YOU did. I never wanted to release you in the first place. But now I'm stuck with you: a crazed killing machine bent on taking me over and running rampant through Jump City.'

She sniffed, almost like a three year old girl who got her dolly taken away. 'That hurt my feelings...' She laughed lightly. 'Oh, wait, I don't have any.'

'Shut up!' I was starting to lose it.

'C'mon Raven. Those people you call friends, they never liked you. They're wishing that maniac would kill you first and let them all go. They think your dark. Demented. Scary. Insane. They don't trust you. If you want to get out of this, let me take over... I'll make it all better.'

It was starting to sound like a good idea. No. I can't. But... I've been able to control her in the past: when Dr. Light was insulting me, when I convinced Gizmo to help Cyborg, when him and Beast Boy were in my mind... Would I be able to take it? Just one more time?

One way to find out.

I screamed as Rage took over. The inhibitor broke in two, I broke through the chains as if they were plastic. I could see the other Titans' eyes widen when my cloak turned a bloody crimson, my eyebrows splitting to form two extra eyes. A low, silent chuckle emanated from my throat.

"Finally free..."

That was enough to get Slade to stop ignoring us. He turned around, still holding one of those beakers, and a dart gun in his other hand. Without a word, he quickly loaded the chemical into a dart.

"You will pay for hurting us and our friends."

Us? Our? Apparently Rage was speaking as if we were still separate.

Slade swiftly loaded the dart gun as we- I mean, I raced towards him. He aimed the gun, not at me, but at...

"ROBIN!"

Starfire's scream sent chills down my spine. Time slowed as I turned to see Robin get struck in the shoulder by the dart. He screamed in agony as the poison rushed to his heart. It was a scary sight, seeing him twitch as the poison burned him from the inside. I could only imagine the pain, the ugly sensation of seeing your friends for the last time.

His wails finally ceased as his head dropped and his skin paled. His body went limp as we found our leader breathing no more.

So many emotions flowed through me in that moment. Sadness, confusion, anger, turmoil, disappointment, and most of all...

Rage.

Rage was having a hay-day gaining more and more power from my emotions. I could tell, because my vision went black for about three minutes, and when it returned, I saw a crumbled heap of flesh and blood in my hands. I realized that crumbled heap was Slade. I dropped him quickly to find he was, in fact, dead. My cloak returned to it's former shade of blue. I looked up to see my friends (minus one) staring in horror. I'd no idea what I'd done just now, but I know who to blame.

Me.

I released Rage from her prison, although I found it strange that she retreated to the back of my mind after I'd killed Slade. I was the one who caved in to my emotions.

I could no longer stay within sight of my friends. Not with the shame of Slade's blood on my hands. Not with the guilt of murder on my heart. My cold, dark heart that can't even resist a little temptation. I was broken.

So I left.

I don't know how long I ran, but I guessed I was at the outskirts of town by now. The sun was just rising on the east side, casting red-orange lights on the sea in front of me. I fell to my knees still not believing what I'd done.

He'd be the one at my side after something like this. Telling me it's okay when it wasn't. He would always know what to say and how to say it. He would tell me it's not my fault even though it was. I choked up just thinking about him. His screams echoing in my head- not Slade's, Robin's- were driving me crazy. I wanted him back.

'Well, that was crazy, wasn't it?'

Not now...

"Why are you doing this to me?" I said aloud through choked sobs.

'You mean, why are you doing this to you? I'm a part of you Raven. You know it. And you love it.'

She was right. No matter how much I wanted Robin back, no matter how much I wanted to turn back time and stop myself from doing anything, no matter how much I hated it, I loved it.

That immediate rush of adrenaline, that inconceivable amount of power, and the look of fear in my enemies eyes. It was my drug.

I hated it. I loved it. I loathed it. I craved it. I couldn't live with it. I can't live without it.

'Face it, Rav, I'm never leaving. And you don't want me to.' She cackled as she threatened to consume me once more, giving me that rush in the process, then retreating once again. 'You'll come back to me soon enough, my doll.'

And I knew that was true.

About twenty minutes of sobbing later, I saw the shadow of a bird in the distance, flying towards me. As it landed, it transformed into the green boy I treat as a little brother. He wasn't who I was expecting to come and comfort me but, beggars can't be choosers.

He sat down next to me and, for a while, didn't say anything. After a minute, he sighed.

"Well, at least Slade's finally gone!"

SMACK!

"Ow!" A red handprint was left on his cheek. "I'm sorry! I don't deal well with serious situations!"

My scowl softened at his naïve innocence. He meant well, I know, but he acts like a child. "I don't know what happened... I heard voices in my head... And I just- I didn't mean..." The lump forming in my throat was getting bigger, and I felt like I was gonna vomit.

Beast Boy put his hand on my shoulder (and I'm surprised I didn't maul him for it) and said, "Look, Rae. I'm not good at these kind of things but, I know you're going through a lot of junk right now and probably don't wanna talk about it; but talking will make you feel better... I think."

I almost giggled. Almost. It was funny when he tried to be sentimental. "I was never good at talking about my feelings, anyway."

He paused for about a minute. "You could possibly be arrested for that, though..."

"You think?"

"Well, maybe since it was an accident, they'll let you off with a warning."

I furrowed my brow. "No. They won't. I murdered someone. I don't even know how it happened-"

He cut me off. "You already said that."

SMACK!

"Oh, come on! Stop that!"

I grinned slightly. "Stop being an idiot." Yes, it was immature, but maybe he was rubbing off on me. Or maybe it was the stress talking.

He sighed once more. "Well, Starfire and Cyborg are back at the tower waiting for you. We should get going." He got up and stretched. "You wanna come with, or do you wanna be alone?"

"I'll catch up..."

"Alright. See ya!" He shape shifted into a hawk and flew in the direction of the giant "T" we call home.

I trudged into the door of my room. I closed and locked the door and collapsed on my dark lavender bedspread. A large portion of my stress melted away as I sniffed the thick cotton blanket; it smelled of cinnamon, sweat and desperation.

Yeah, it's good to be back home.

A few soft knocks made an echo in my room. I groaned as I went to answer the door. The door slid open with a soft hiss as I took in the sight of the Tamaranian princess at the threshold.

Tiny beads of tears were in her emerald green eyes as she lunged forward and hugged the daylights out of me.

"Oh, Raven I missed you so much and I was so worried that you would never return even though Cyborg said you would be alright I was still unsure and-"

"Star."

"Yes?"

"Stop hugging me."

"Huh? Oh... My apologies." She finally let go of me as I gasped for breath. Honestly, I thought she would've been laid out on the couch, mourning Robin's death. Everyone knew she had a crush on the boy wonder. But, apparently, she was dealing with it pretty well.

"Starfire, I'm sorry for what I did. I was stressed out, and with Robin- I just lost control and..."

She put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Raven, it is alright. I understand that your emotions are stronger than mine or our friends, and that sometimes, you cannot control them. I do not blame you. Slade was a villain, and it was what he deserved."

I honestly didn't think Starfire was for killing, even if it was an evil mastermind. But, he killed Robin. It is what he deserved: an eye for an eye. Ironic, huh?

Starfire looked down at her purple boots as she shyly said, "Cyborg has told me that, in the event of Robin's death, he would take over as leader of the Titans."

A simple "oh" escaped my lips at the mention of our deceased leader. Or ex-leader. "If you don't mind, Star, I'd like to be alone for awhile."

"Yes, of course. I understand." Turning on her heel, she began walking to her room. As she walked, I heard muffled whimpers as she covered her mouth. She could really hold her composure when around other people, but I could tell she was still broken inside. I closed the door and curled up on my bed, realizing how empty the tower felt after the loss of our fearless leader.

-Two Weeks Later-

I stare down at my shoes as Bruce Wayne speaks over the coffin. Starfire stands next to me in a long black dress, crying her eyes out. On the other side of her stands Cyborg and Beast Boy, adorned in black suits and ties. Members of the Titans East, Justice League, and many others, stand in the open field behind Wayne manor, in attendance for Robin's funeral.

I was surprised by the turnout. Most teen heroes don't get this much recognition. Even the Avengers came down from New York; surprisingly, Hulk wore a shirt. Most of the guests didn't have any profound words to say; so far, the only ones who spoke were Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon and Alfred.

Just as Bruce finished his short speech, Tony Stark stepped up to the podium. I heard irritated moans and muffled "oh no"s from the other Avengers.

"Good evening, everyone." He began. "Now, I know most of you think I make jokes about anything: why I even made a few about that Scandinavian supermodel I dated last year. Man, was she crazy; I even considered reporting her to the SHIELD prison."

He only received blank stares. Apparently, his dry humor was unappreciated.

He cleared his throat. "Anyway. Richard Grayson was a valiant hero, with agility and courage, only matched by the size of his heart." (At this point, Starfire was bawling loudly) "He never stood down against evil, he fought back with everything he could. He was also very clever on the battlefield; making decisions in split seconds. He's the kind of guy who'll jump off a cliff and figure out how to survive on the way down. And he'll make it down cleanly. Loved by few, adored by many. Rest in peace, Robin."

At this, he stepped down from the podium. When he made it to his seat, I saw Natasha (aka Black Widow) put a hand on his shoulder, silently telling him he did a good job. Afterwards, she gave me a warning glare. Obviously, word spreads quickly through the SHIELD vine. I felt uncomfortable with all the guards around, giving me threatening looks, and all the hardcore heroes being wary whenever they were around me.

As everyone was leaving, I was about to step into the T-Car when I felt a large, yet comforting hand on my shoulder. I turned to see the green gamma-hero himself, Hulk.

"Don't beat yourself up about this," he began. "You're not the only one who's misunderstood because they can't control their emotions." He gave me a small smile, and departed with his signature monster-jump.

It was a bittersweet moment: I'm glad other people understand my pain of dealing with these emotions, but I also feel sorry for others who have to go through this kind of insanity.

That's weird. I feel sorry for someone.

Next thing I knew, I was in some sort of instant depression. Everything that was even remotely sad, made me feel an unexplainable amount of sadness. It was only when I saw my cloak that I understood what was happening.

My cloak was gray.

Timid had taken over my mind for a while now and- Hey, it felt good to feel. I was usually bland. Boring. Unmovable. But being vulnerable, it was just as thrilling as being connected with Rage. I wonder if my other emotions were like this?

After we returned to the tower, I rushed to my room and locked the door. I swiftly picked up my meditation mirror, said a few incantations, and after a few seconds, I was trotting through the labyrinth that is my mind.

I walked/flew for about twenty minutes until I saw a flash of bright red in my peripheral. I rushed intently towards it, and as I came in closer, I found out that it was Rage and Timid. I landed in front of them both, and they turned towards me, with Rage having a scowl on her face and Timid looking, well, timid.

"What have you been doing to my mind, Rage?" I started. "I know that it's you who's doing this."

She laughed innocently. "Oh, it wasn't just me; Timid here had a little part in this."

At this, Timid spoke up. "I-it wasn't all me, n-not that I wanted to do it; it was Rage's idea, b-but I didn't want to do anything bad to you b-but..."

"Timid, I'm not mad at you." I spoke softly, then put a little aggression in my voice as I turned to Rage. "It was her who did this to us, and I wanna know why." It was more of a command than a question.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you just yet, Rae," I winced at the annoying nickname everyone gave me. "But I assure you, you will figure it out sooner or later; you're a smart little girl. But in the meantime," her voice deepened and darkened. "Stay out of my way. I don't have time to deal with you. My time is running out, and my power's running low. If you don't want everything to fall apart around you, I suggest you forget this ever happened."

"I-if you want to..."

...

Jeez, that's annoying.

Rage went back to her innocent voice. "Anyways, bye Rae, I have some business to attend to." She suddenly vanished in a puff of black-red mist.


	2. Chapter 2

Addicted to Emotion Ch 2

I couldn't sleep that night. Rage's threat lingered in my mind for hours on end. Sure, I know she won't do anything drastic to me, because I am her: I die, she dies. So it must not be me she's after. But if not me, then who? Who would be a big enough target that she could find a way to them from inside my mind?

Let's see... Slade's dead, Brother Blood's in Arkham Asylum, so is Dr. Strange, Joker's in prison and has been there for a few months now, so who does that leave? No other major villains are alive or even out of prison. Maybe she's not after someone, but something. But what material possession could benefit her? She's an emotion for crying out loud!

'An emotion created by Trigon the Conqueror.'

I groaned loudly. I really don't wanna deal with me right now. But, for some reason, she sounded different.

"I don't want to deal with you right now. Just leave me to my thoughts, alright?"

"I'm sorry, Raven, I must not leave you alone: I am under strict orders. I won't tell you who gave them, but nonetheless, I am under obligation."

Since when do I say 'nonetheless'?

"You know you want to give in to your emotions," she's talking as if she's reading something. "Don't try to resist. Me and you both know-" she paused. "Me and you? It's 'you and I'!"

Now I know she's reading. "Would you stay out of my thoughts for ONE day?! Just leave. Me. Alone!"

Now usually, when you hear voices in your head, you don't go screaming at them out loud. Once I realized I did, I looked up to see Cyborg staring at me through my bedroom door with a weird look on his face. I covered my mouth with both hands and blushed slightly.

He walked away shaking his head. Yeah, he thinks I'm crazy.

I sighed heavily. I really hope this insanity would end soon, although it's unlikely. I stood up and walked out of my room, thinking I've been a bit antisocial since the funeral. I solemnly walked to Starfire's room. She's been the one I'd gotten closest to over the years. Us both being aliens helped a bit, also us being girls, we both understood each other better than Cyborg or Beast Boy ever did. We'd stay up till midnight on Saturday nights just talking, her being so cheerful and upbeat and me being, well, me. Dark, quiet, stuff like that. She'd talk about clothes and hairstyles, I'd talk about how my dad was trying to conquer another dimension. She'd want to go shopping, I'd want to go watch a horror movie. We were complete opposites, but that's what drew us closer.

I was about to knock on the door, when it slid open just as my hand was an inch away. I saw the innocent Tamaranean standing there wearing a black, long, dress-like trench coat, and she was holding three flowers: an orange tulip, a violet, and a green carnation.

She seemed to jump slightly seeing me there. "Oh, Raven! Was there something you needed?"

I raised an eyebrow curiously. "Where are you headed?"

Her eyes trailed down to the floor. "I was going to Mr. Wayne's mansion."

She was obviously going to place the flowers on Robin's grave. I realized every flower was color coordinated to each member of the team. Starfire could be so creative, even in situations like this.

"Are those for Robin?"

The mention of his name still stung her, but she was in better control after all the commotion of his death had calmed down. "Yes. Would you like to add a flower of your own to the bouquet, Raven?"

I nodded in silence as my eyes began to glow a bright white. I conjured a charcoal black rose in my hands and handed it to her. "Say hello to Bruce for me."

"I will." She smiled lightly and walked past me to the front door. Well, Starfire's out, so I guess I'll hang with Cyborg to get my mind off things.

I walked towards the garage, where Cyborg was, most likely, and opened the door. I was surprised to see Jinx sitting on the hood of the T-car, talking to Cyborg, partly because I didn't know she was here, and partly because Cyborg usually doesn't like people sitting on his "baby".

"... And then it just collapsed and mud got everywhere!" I arrived to hear Jinx finish her story. Apparently it was funny, because Cyborg instantly started cracking up.

Until he saw me.

"Hm, I was right." I began. "You two are a couple."

They both blushed madly and Jinx started stuttering. "No! I was just, um... Borrowing... Something..." She quickly picked up a wrench. "There it is! Thanks Cyborg!"

I teleported between her and the door, stopping her in her tracks. "Oh, really? And what, by chance, would you need a wrench for?"

I saw her start to sweat. Jinx still wasn't exactly a good guy, although she quit the Hive a while ago, but everyone suspected she had a thing for Cyborg.

Cyborg finally stepped in. "Now, Rae, don't be mad, and don't tell BB or Star. They're gonna freak if they found out!"

I just smirked, and, to their surprise, my cloak turned lavender. 'Let's try something..." I thought.

"Why would I be mad? You two are such a cute couple!" Passion was one of my happier emotions, giving me more of a thrill of feeling.

They both gave me awkward looks. "Um, Raven?" Jinx said quizzically. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm feeling fine!" I put emphasis on "feeling". "When did you two get together?"

"About four weeks ago." Cyborg started. "I was gonna ask Robin if she could join the Titans, but, you know..." He trailed off.

My giddiness flickered for a moment, but after a few seconds, I was back to asking questions. "So when are you gonna tell the others?"

"Probably next week..." Jinx elbowed him in the stomach. "I mean tomorrow."

"Great! They're gonna be so excited!"

I once again received quizzical looks from the new couple before I trotted back to the living room. I saw Beast Boy sitting on the couch playing a racing game on our 126" TV. You know, I never realized how big our TV is. Perks from saving the world, I guess.

'Okay, let's try another one.' I thought. My cloak instantly turned an olive green.

"Hey, Garfield, whatcha playing?" I said as I plopped on the couch.

His car on the screen instantly crashed and the game screen displayed large red letters spelling GAME OVER". He slowly turned his head towards me and jumped, seeing my cloak a different, yet familiar, color.

"Oh no... You're a marine again!"

I smiled playfully. "What ever could you mean, Beast Boy?"

"I remember last time I saw you with a green cape! You were like, all crazy, and a super warrior and junk!"

I laughed heartily. "Yeah, that was fun, wasn't it?"

His eyebrow twitched once. "Um... Rave? You seem a little off today. Are you feeling good?"

"It's "feeling well", greenie." I corrected. "And yes I am. But you still didn't answer my question."

"Uh, Need for Speed: Most Wanted?" He said that like it was a question.

"I wanna play."

Those three words sent him reeling. His eyes went blank, he didn't move a muscle, and he dropped the controller. "What is wrong with you?" He asked, somewhat trembling.

"Nothing." I said, giggling. I grabbed the second controller from off of the coffee table and pressed start. Two cars appeared on screen as I readied myself for the race. Apparently, Beast Boy couldn't turn down a challenge, because he instantly took on a serious face as he picked up his controller. I picked a blue McLaren F150, and he picked a lime green Dodge Challenger.

'Mine is faster,' I thought. 'This should be easy.'

The computerized letters on the screen flashed, "3...2...1...GO!" and we sped off. I thought this would be much easier than it was. The track had twists and turns, and Beast Boy kept taking shortcuts that I didn't know about. It irritated me to no end, and I knew what was coming afterwards, but I foolishly ignored my foresight.

Beast Boy's car quickly crossed the finish line before mine and I threw my controller on the floor, breaking it in two.

Here it comes...

My cloak turned from green to red in a millisecond. I turned to Beast Boy and glared at him with all four eyes and said, "You cheater! You ALWAYS cheat! I can't believe you! You make me so angry sometimes I-" I stopped myself before I said anything I'd regret. I looked at Beast Boy's frightened eyes. Of course, what I said wasn't that hurtful, but it wouldn't matter if I was talking about this, or a basketball game; I just know that my reaction had brought back memories of that horrid day when I became a murderer. If I saw my face at that moment of rage, I'd be frightened, too.

My cloak dulled to gray as I spoke. "Oh my gosh, Beast Boy, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it!"

He turned and ran out of the room, abandoning his high score on the screen. I stood there watching him run off as I heard Rage chuckling in the back of my mind.

This is why I don't feel.

I walked silently through the prison corridor, a security guard at my side.

This is a bad idea.

The inmates were screaming insults and death threats my way; probably because I put most of them in here.

This is a bad idea.

I stopped in front of one particular cell, specialized to restrict ones powers from penetrating the glass barrier.

This is a really bad idea.

"Ah, Raven." The prisoner stated in his cracking baritone voice. "To what do I owe the pleasure of being visited by one of the famed Titans?"

I slightly scowled. "I'm here to make a deal."

This seemed to pique Brother Blood's interest. "And what would be the conditions?"

"You rid me of my emotions, and I'll get the boys in blue to shorten your sentence."

He laughed. "Shorten? My dear Raven, I wish not to do a favor just to merely 'shorten' my sentence; especially for a Titan like you."

This is still a bad idea.

"Fine. I'll pay your bail." Stupid, stupid, stupid! But I can't go on scaring my friends like this; and I can't lose another one either.

"Hm," he pondered his options, which were few. "Alright, Raven; we have a deal."


	3. Chapter 3

Addicted to Emotion Ch 3

I stepped out of the prison at about a quarter to six. I know the others are gonna wonder where I've been all day; but I can't just tell them, "I made a deal with a maniacal super villain to get rid of my emotions and its all going down in six days".

Nah, I'm not that desperate for an excuse.

What'll I tell them? I'm checking prison security. Good. So even if they check the prison records, I'll still be camouflaged.

Phase two: keep my emotions in check until Saturday.

:Monday:

I hate waking up. Being awake? I don't mind; I just hate the "waking moments".

I groggily slide out of bed, my Pretty Pretty Pegasus pajamas wrinkled from a rough night of sleep. I look over at my clock.

8:02

Time for coffee.

I dragged my feet to the kitchen. No one was awake yet; it was just me. I grabbed a mug and the creamer from the fridge, and started pouring me some fresh joe.

I lifted the rim of the mug to my nose and took a whiff. It smelled amazing; light roast, caramel drizzle non-dairy creamer, and at exactly the right temperature to where it's hot, but it won't burn my tongue. I took a long sip, the tan liquid gliding past my tongue, making my taste buds dance, then down my throat. I let out a satisfied "mmm", savoring every moment of ecstasy. I sighed happily and said, "Best morning ever..."

VRRRT!

Beast Boy... Ugh.

I pinched my nose and strode to the couch with my mug in hand.

"Oops," he said. "Excuse me! Must've been that bean burrito I had last night!"

"Beast Boy," I growled. "Go away before I banish you to the dimension of an insatiable ogre, where you'll be devoured within seconds."

I've never seen Beast Boy move so fast.

Starfire then floated in lazily, yawning like a small kitten. Cyborg followed soon after, scratching his back and muttering.

"Good morning, Raven..." Starfire said lowly. She sat down at the kitchen table and rested her head on on top of it.

"Morning." I deadpanned. I wasn't really in the mood to talk much; but for my friends, I got over it. I got over a lot of things for them.

"Mornin' Rae." Cyborg said in his unintentionally loud voice. I responded with a simple "mhm". Again, I don't feel like talking; especially when, if I do, I run the risk of letting Rage free.

"Alright guys," said Cyborg as he clapped his hands once. "Let's go over last night's police records."

He pulled up a list of names and numbers on the TV screen. "12:58 AM: Attempted robbery at Second National Bank by Antonio S. Chapman; amount of damage in dollars: $267. No other crimes reported on that night." The screen flickered off. "Slow night."

I always hated overnight reviews; they're pointless to us. We're crime fighters; we can't do anything about the crimes that already happened; we're not mystery solvers.

Starfire floated down to the couch next to me, and cocked her head slightly to the side. "Since today is the slow day, what activities shall we participate in to occupy us until there is an alert?"

Cyborg held up his hands and shrugged. "Picnic?" He suggested plainly.

"Game night?" Beast Boy chimed.

I kept to myself through the suggestions. I don't care what we do today, as long as I can bring my book with me, and as long as Beast Boy keeps his distance, I'll be fine. I don't want to risk another episode with my emotions.

They eventually decided on going to the movies. All they were showing this week were sappy romances and stupid comedies. I wasn't interested at all, so I decided to stay home and read.

It was quiet in the tower; just how I like it. I sat reading Heroes of Azarath: Volume III. The calming silence around me was relaxing every tension in my body, relieving all my stress from fighting crime every day and constricting my emotions. I flipped through the pages of my book ever so slowly, taking a sip of my lukewarm coffee every now and then.

Thirty minutes had passed before I heard my stomach rumble, then I realized I hadn't had breakfast yet. I creased my current page in my book and sat it down on the couch. I floated lazily to the fridge and peeked inside.

Pizza, sliced turkey, leftover tofu king, nothing that interested me; so I decided on going to get some Chinese food. I went to my room and took off my pajamas, and put on a black skirt and a grey sweater. I slipped into some black converse and combed my hair before grabbing my handbag and heading out the door.

I took my keyless remote out of my bag and started my Corvette Stingray. I got in and drove through the underwater tunnel connecting the tower to the city. I took quick peeks at the sea life around me, wondering what will happen this weekend with Brother Blood.

I frowned at my stupidity. What was I thinking trusting him? He could turn on me in two seconds, and use my emotions to his advantage. Even if he did cooperate, he'd still be out of jail afterwards, and we'd have him to deal with later.

I could double-cross him. But then I'd be just as bad as him. I don't know any way out of this; I'm about to make the biggest mistake of my life.

I looked down at the digital clock in my car.

9:24.

5 days, 12 hours and 36 minutes left... An issue found its way into my situation. How do I sneak out at 10 pm on a Saturday night? They won't believe I would go to a party; a fake date is out of the question.

I rolled to a stop once I made it out of the tunnel; I looked both ways before I pulled onto the highway, headed to Chang's Diner.

I could tell them I'm going to Azarath for the night; that's a pretty good excuse. And I'll just have to keep Blood quiet until I'm in the clear.

I sighed and lowered my eyelids. I think I'm getting too worked up over this. Maybe no one will even suspect anything; they'll probably think its just me being me. I shouldn't worry about it; just stick it out till Saturday. Nothing will happen.

I heard a loud horn at my left; then I noticed I was slowly drifting into the lane next to me. I gasped and swerved just enough to get back in my own lane. My heart was pounding against my chest, and small beads of cold sweat decorated my forehead. I slowed my breathing and loosened slightly. I checked my right mirror and turned on my turn signal. Just as I was about to change lanes, a black Camaro with red racing stripes sped past me at 90 plus miles an hour. I swerved for the second time as I gazed at the vehicle's taillights.

Out of the drivers' side window, I could see a muscular man with a dull complexion stick his head out the window to look at me, and wave childishly as he raced ahead of me.

I furrowed my brow and whispered, "Johnny Rancid."

I pushed the accelerator to the floor, making my engine roar as I sped off to catch up to him.

I bobbed and weaved through the traffic, closing in on Rancid. I pulled up next to him in a matter of seconds; he looked over and snarled at me before speeding up and pulling ahead of me.

'He's too fast...' I thought solemnly. I needed to figure out how to beat him without speed.

'I may be able to assist.' My smarter emotion, Intelligence, stated.

Before I could react, my mind went blank as a pair of large, round glasses appeared on my face. I was pushed into the back of mind as Intelligence took over operations.

She gripped the clutch tightly as her eyes started to glow. The car was covered in the same white light that was in her eyes; the next thing I new, the car had burst off at 200 miles an hour, headed straight for Rancid.

Once we were close enough to him, Intelligence opened the window, and started chanting. "Necroman Fraculon Lortix!" A pale blue beam shot from my hand and made contact with the road in front of Rancid. Once the beam disappeared, it left a sheet of ice on the street.

"Whoa, what the-?" He yelled before losing control of the vehicle and quickly crashing into the road walls.

Intelligence pulled the car next to him and sighed happily. 'Now you see how quickly that issue was taken care of?'

I immediately regained control of my body, and replied, "Yeah, and you almost killed the guy. I didn't need your help; I can be my own hero without your meddling." I stepped out of the car and went to investigate the crash.

'Preposterous.' She snidely replied. 'I managed to immobilize the offender, and I brought you an ample opportunity to place the criminal in custody.'

I groaned irately, as I peeked into the driver's side window. I saw that he was unconscious, so I opened the door and checked his vitals. "Lucky for you, he's still alive. I've already killed one person; I don't want a repeat offense."

Intelligence merely scoffed as she retreated into my mind. I have to keep my emotions under control from now on; if this happens too much, Rage will end up escaping again. And no one wants that.

I pulled out my phone, and dialed 911. After they answered, I told them where Rancid was located, tied him up, and left the scene. I didn't want to draw any attention to myself and risk an outburst.

I got back in my car and cruised to the Chinese restaurant.

By the time I made it back, the rest of the team had returned from the movies, and Cyborg was ranting about a certain part of the movie they saw.

"There were so many continuity flaws in that movie." He said. "Like when they were doing that duet with the couple that were in two separate places, with Ashton it was daytime; with Serena, it was nighttime! I mean come on!"

Beast Boy raised a brow at this. "Dude, calm down. I thought it was a pretty great movie!" He then started combing his hair back with his hand. "I especially liked the short funny dude... Kinda reminds me of me!"

Starfire gleamed brightly. "I very much enjoyed when they were both consumed by the large mountain lion!"

Cyborg and Beast Boy exchanged awkward glances. I silently walked past them and headed for my room. I was hoping they would just ignore me and let me get on with my day.

Cyborg looked my way. "What's up, Rae?"

No such luck.

"Not much." I answered. "Just trying to get back to my room..."

"We were about to go get something to eat; wanna come?"

I silently held up my bag of takeout noodles.

"Oh... You gonna be alright by yourself?"

I sighed. "I'm not a baby; I can take care of myself."

He shrugged. "Okay, but make sure you turn on the security system; we wouldn't want anyone breaking in."

I was getting slightly annoyed. "Fine, bye." I speed walked back to my room to avoid any more confrontation.

I closed the door behind me and locked it, as I always do, and plopped on my bed with my box of foreign food. I took my chopsticks out of their paper sleeve and went right in. After the first few bites, I unintentionally let out a very loud burp.

'Haha! Nice one...'

"Shut up, Rude." I snapped. It's gonna be a long week...


	4. Chapter 4

**((A/N: Okay, this chapter is mostly filler; there's not much plot in it at all, so if you want to skip this, you can. Not that I could've stopped you anyway... This one was kinda rushed, too, so...))**

Addicted to Emotion Ch 4

Tuesday was bland; Mad Mod tried to rob the bank, we stopped him, then we went home and did absolutely nothing. Very boring day.

Wednesday was slightly more hectic with three robberies, a jewel heist, and random destruction. Dr. Light was spotted holding up a light bulb factory; I seriously don't understand that man.

But Thursday was different.

Thursday is our pay day; we each get a check from the mayor for keeping the city safe and for helping with debris cleanup. This week I got about $500. I don't usually spend much money on anything but food, bills, some clothes here and there, and the occasional car repair. This week, I was feeling like I'd spent too much time by myself, and I wanted to have a little... What's it called? Girl time? Anyway, I took some money out of the vault and walked to Starfire's room.

Once I made it there, I rapped on the door lightly. It was still pretty early, so I didn't want to wake her if she was sleeping. A few seconds later, the door slid open, revealing an orange girl brushing her long hair. "Yes Raven?" She chimed.

"Hey Star." I started, a little unsure. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out and do something today; like go shopping or something?"

Her eyes slightly widened and she stopped brushing. "Oh! Are you sure Raven? This does not seem like your normal behavior. I thought you hated shopping?"

I rolled my eyes and gave a small smirk. "I don't hate shopping; I just don't do it often; but I feel like going today. Wanna come?"

She instantly gleamed and dropped her hairbrush. She then proceeded to squeeze the daylights out of me with one of her infamous hugs. "Oh yes, Raven, I would love to go shopping with you!"

I coughed up whatever air was left in my lungs as I struggled to break free from the Tamaranian's arms. Once she released me, I inhaled sharply and started heaving.

Starfire noticed this and rubbed her arm sheepishly. "I apologize... I tend to get very excited about shopping."

"Really?" I wheezed sarcastically. Once I caught my breath, I straightened up and said, "C'mon, I know where we're going first."

Me and Starfire strolled through DCJenny's in Jump Mall; Star was ogling over every piece of clothing she saw, whether it was shirts, skirts, leggings, shoes or hats. I mainly paid attention to the price tags. If its a $50 t-shirt, you might as well put a sign on it that says "instant bankruptcy". I don't understand other teenaged girls buying everything off the rack, name brand, and with their parents' credit card.

Starfire picked up a long sleeved pink sundress off of the rack and held it against herself. "Does this color suit me, Raven?"

I looked up from my eccentric search through the clearance section. "Nah... You're more of a sky blue."

Starfire raised an eyebrow in interest, and dove back into the bargain bin for the same dress, only in the aforementioned coloring. She pressed it against herself to see how it looked. "Like this one?"

I nodded with a small, but sincere smile. I enjoyed spending time with Star; she understood me almost as much as Robin did. I don't know why I didn't think of this before; hanging out with Starfire really calms my nerves better than when I'm around Cyborg or Beast Boy. Of course, she does have her quirks though.

I saw her pull a long, beautiful dress from the rack; it was dark purple, the hem was lined with miniature diamonds, and it had a diamond necklace to go with it. I've never seen Starfire's eyes so wide before; she gazed at the velvety dress for what seemed like hours, and I couldn't blame her; it was gorgeous.

...Until she saw the price.

Her eyes filled with petty rage as they glowed an emerald sheen. "Glorbags! What the brignar is this calitus?!"

I'm pretty sure those aren't nice words. I clapped my hand over her mouth and whispered, "Starfire, what are you doing? It's just a dress; calm down!"

She calmed down, but she was still steaming. I didn't know she was so passionate about this stuff. We continued sifting through the various outfits in the store, when something pink caught my eye; and it wasn't clothes.

I looked up to see Cyborg's girlfriend, Jinx, looking through some clothes about twenty feet away. I leaned over and whispered to Starfire, "Look who's here."

Starfire looked up and saw the pink haired teen. "I see. Should we apprehend her?" She asked inquisitively.

I sighed and shook my head. Cyborg still hasn't told them; so I'll have to spill the beans about their relationship. "No, she's actually not a criminal anymore. And she's Cyborg's girlfriend."

I didn't even have a chance to try and hold Starfire back; she was already clinging to Jinx with a hug of death. "Oh, Jinx, it is so great to finally find that you and Cyborg are the couple now! How long has it been? Have you exchanged communication numbers? Have you decided what to name your offspring? When are you getting married?"

Jinx's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "Whoa whoa whoa, slow down girl! And please let go of me!"

Starfire, still very excited, let go of Jinx and continued questioning. "Have you acquired a wedding dress? Who shall be your bridesmaid? What is-"

"Starfire!" Jinx yelled. "We're not getting married yet. We're just dating for now."

I could see the disappointment in Starfire's eyes after Jinx said that. "Oh..."

"So what are you doing here?" I asked Jinx with a hint of happiness in my voice.

"Just looking for a birthday present for Cyborg;" she replied excitedly. "But I ended up seeing a half off sale for shoes, so I got this sweater!" She flashed a purple turtleneck from her bag.

I don't understand shopping with girls. I go to the store, buy what I need, and get out; other girls go to the store, check every store within three miles, buy fifteen outfits, and only wear one of those fifteen. Girls can be dumb sometimes.

Starfire folded her hands together and squealed. "I have the perfect idea!"

Oh no...

She looked back and forth between me and Jinx and said, "We shall go shopping together for the rest of the day!"

Why Starfire... Why?

I faked an almost smile and nodded, knowing if I had said no, it would've ruined her day; she would have been curled up on the couch in the tower, guilt tripping me. So I grudgingly agreed to hang out with Jinx.

It's not that I didn't like her; it's just awkward hanging around someone who used to attack me on a regular basis. Jinx was never my favorite, but when she helped us take down The Brain, I ended up liking her a bit more; but I still didn't trust her too much. So when Cyborg started dating her, it was a little offsetting having her around; especially since Robin wasn't here.

We strolled around the shops for a few hours, I almost went insane from all the colors and clothes I'd seen that day. Those two fashionistas would stay in a store for thirty minutes straight before spending another thirty in another store. When we got home, I helped Starfire drop off her twenty-seven shopping bags; filled to the brim, I might add; and I tossed my one bag on my bed and I collapsed. I fell asleep about two minutes later.

'Two days left...' I told myself. 'Then this will all be over.'


	5. Chapter 5

Addicted to Emotion Ch 5

"Look out, Raven!"

My head shot up as I heard the warning call from Beast Boy, and I narrowly dodged a throwing knife aimed for my head. After I recovered, I quickly flew towards our attacker, Rose Wilson.

So, apparently, if you end up killing someone by accident, be prepared to be attacked by their martial-arts trained daughter. Who also is trained with twin swords. And has superhuman abilities.

I fought with her, hand to hand for a while. I've been trying to train myself to fight without using my powers just in case, one day, my powers failed me; but Rose has some very fast and powerful moves. She's nailed about ten hits on me within ten seconds, no matter how much I blocked and dodged; she's as good as Slade was. My breathing was becoming ragged; I needed to get away and take a breather. I tried flying away after a dodge, but she ended up grabbing my cape and throwing me to the ground behind her; then immediately lunging at me with a short dagger. Thankfully, Starfire came up from the side and tackled her. I'm gonna have to do something with my cape to prevent that from happening again. A cape and hood; no problem when I'm using telekinesis, but in normal combat, it's a liability.

Cyborg ran to my side in a second. "You good?"

I nodded, taking off my hood. "Just need a quick break." He nodded running back into battle. I pulled the bottom end of my cloak up and examined it. It was dirty, scored with holes and runs; I could tell it was old and has been through a lot. It's been getting in the way a lot lately, and I'm thinking it's about time to retire the old thing. I unclipped the collar, recited a quick spell, and teleported it back to the tower. I'll figure out something to do with it later.

When I flew back into the tussle, I found Beast Boy had gotten hurt, and Starfire was mending his wounds; Cyborg was exchanging blows with Rose, and making sure she didn't get away.

"Cyborg!" I called. "Black and Blue!"

Cyborg nodded and threw Rose away from him. Of course, she landed on her feet with a short slide. I raised the earth under her with my powers in a sort of cocoon.

As she tried to break free, me and Cyborg stood side by side; him, with his sonic cannon at the ready; and me, focusing my dark energies into a concentrated beam. We both fired at the same time, sending a black and blue spiral of energy straight for Rose.

She struggled even more to break free from her prison; but try as she may, she wasn't getting out in time. The beam finally collided with her at full force, breaking her stone prison, and sending her soaring backwards a few hundred feet. She tumbled a little while after the beam dissipated; once she stopped, I noticed a large scorched area on her chest, and her nose was bleeding. We all approached her unconscious body soon after; I knelt over and checked her pulse.

"She's still alive." I announced, thankful. I figured she'd survive that attack; her being an enhanced human being and all; but I just wanted to be sure.

My teammates all gave a relieved sigh as I started putting handcuffs on the white haired villainess; and not a minute too soon, because she immediately opened her eyes and shot up. "Let me go! You're gonna pay for what you did to Slade!" She started trying to break the handcuffs apart, and she was doing a pretty good job; the cuffs were starting to bend.

"Star, hold her down!" Cyborg ordered as he did the same with her right arm. Starfire quickly grabbed her left arm as she started thrashing about.

I touched the palm of my hand to her forehead and I started concentrating. My eyes glowed an eerie black as I whispered, "Sleep." Rose's eyes widened before rolling to the back of her head; her body went limp after a few seconds.

Cyborg and Starfire released their grip and sighed tiredly. Beast Boy walked up holding his arm and wincing. "Uh, I think my arm might be broken."

I looked in his direction and stood, my eyes starting to glow once again. I softly placed my hand on his arm, focusing on finding a fracture or a dislocation. After a minute or so, I looked up at him. "It's only dislocated; I can fix it, but it'll hurt very, very badly for a few seconds."

He looked worried. "How bad will it hurt?"

I didn't say a word; I just quickly grabbed his arm with both hands, and did a quick jerk. There was a resonating crack that made Cyborg and Starfire wince, but made me smirk.

"YEEOW!" Beast Boy screamed, much to my amusement. He grabbed his arm and looked at me with a pained expression. "What did you do that for?!"

I shrugged passively. "It would've been worse if you were expecting it."

He groaned irately and started painfully moping to the T-Car. I turned to Cyborg and asked, "Whose turn is it to take the criminal to jail?"

"It's my turn." He replied, picking up Rose and carrying her to the car.

Starfire lazily stretched her arms above her head and yawned. "I shall meet you all at our home; I wish to take a nap. Farewell, friends..." She waved as she flew for the tower.

I waved monotonously at Starfire, and turned to find Cyborg had secured Rose and was preparing to leave. He pointed to the backseat. "You wanna tag along, or you flying home?"

"I'm gonna stop by the bookstore." I lied. I needed to check with Brother Blood; make sure he hasn't tried to escape or anything; I need him to still be in custody in order for our deal to be valid.

Cyborg nodded and stepped into the car, with Beast Boy in the driver's seat. "Ok, BB; smooth take off." Cyborg said as if he were speaking to a child (which he was a child, in my opinion).

"I know, Cyborg!" Beast Boy whined. "I'm not a kid, you know." They pulled off, rather roughly I might add; and I headed to the detention center.

'Tomorrow's the day...' I thought to myself. I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous. What if something goes wrong? What if everyone finds out? What if Blood is just playing me? Maybe I'm overreacting; I mean, Blood wants his freedom, and if he wants it enough, he wouldn't plot against me. Would he?

I have too much on my mind right now; this whole emotions ordeal, Robin's death, Jinx and Cyborg dating, and now Rose is out to get me. All this stuff is making me uncomfortable; but tomorrow it'll be alright.

I hope.

I soon arrived at the detention center, but for some reason, the security guards were rushing inside. I had a gut feeling, but I didn't want to believe it. I quickly flew towards the ruckus.

Once I made it into the prison, I heard alarms blaring, sheriffs barking orders, and the footsteps of hundreds of police officers. I ran up to one of the sheriffs and asked, "What's going on?"

The leading officer looked at me with a serious expression. "Prisoner 90018 is attempting to escape. We have all available officers holding the line, but we've lost three in the massacre; we need a Titan."

I gulped hard. I knew that number; I figured this would happen, but I ignored the signs. I nodded at the sheriff and rushed into the potential bloodbath.

Anger bubbled to the surface of my mind; both at myself, and at the prisoner trying to escape. I don't need to lose control again; not here, not now; but he's gonna push me over the edge here, trying to break out. It's one day away; why can't he wait?!

I landed right behind the barricade made of defending officers. Gunshots rang throughout the prison, all aimed at the man attempting for freedom. I crouched beside a medical officer working on an injured deputy. "Is he alright?"

She looked up for a second before returning to her work. "He sustained major gunshot wounds to his arm and legs; if I can remove the bullets and bandage him up in time, he should be alright."

I clenched my teeth and tightened my fists. He's hurting innocent people; not to mention he's killed three already! If he had waited a few more hours, he would've been free with no trouble! Just as I tried to calm myself down, I saw something in the corner of my eye. I turned to see three bodies; two were covered, and one, someone was in the middle of covering. I saw the bloody, mutilated carcass and I nearly threw up. This pushed me over; I couldn't take all of this happening at once.

'Let go, Raven.' I heard Rage whisper. 'You know you can't let all of this go unpunished. Let me take over; I'll make it all go away.'

I took a deep breath and rose to my feet. I turned to the battle at hand, and slowly rose from the floor; my eyes glowing an eerie red were joined by an additional pair above them. The prisoner looked in my direction once I was close enough, and an evil smirk made it's way onto his face. I snarled at him as I lost myself to the anger.

My voice doubled in rage, and black lightning shot from my eyes as I spoke. "Blood, today is your dying day!"

**((A/N: Just a heads up to whoever is reading this, next chapter is gonna be really long, so I may not post it this coming Tuesday; it may end up being either later in the week, or the Tuesday after next. So anyway, leave a review! PLEASE. I only have one, but I know you all are reading it! I have like, over 300 views.**

**We're getting close to the end! If you want to see a certain character appear in this story, or you have ideas that you want to share, feel free to tell me via review/PM; I'd love to hear from you!))**


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